Welcome to the new website.

The aim is to help patients choose which pharmacy to use based on key categories and choices.

All pharmacies in England, Scotland and Wales that agreed to join are on the website.

Please choose one of the options for each category.

a] Waiting times should be:

1] 20 mins

2] 10 mins

3] 5 mins

4] 1 min [The pharmacy cannot guarantee the correct medicine though]

b] Pharmacist appearance:

1] labcoat

2] Suit

3] Jeans

4] Not bothered

c] Deliveries:

1] same day

2] next day

3] only during ad breaks of Jeremy Kyle

4] Pharmacy does not deliver

d] Staff conversation:

1] miserable staff who dont speak

2] Polite chit chat

3] Interrogation from staff about your private life

4] Gossip about other patients

e] Prescription ordering method:

1] phone

2] in person

3] email

4] twitter

5] facebook

f] Medication use review:

1] happy to discuss medication with pharmacist

2] Do not want to bothered. I know what I’m doing.

g] New Medicines Service:

1] Happy to be contacted

2] Stop bleeding ringing me!

h] I would like the consultation room to be used for:

1] discussing my medication

2] Showing the boil on my ass to the pharmacist

i] The time that the pharmacist is allowed for lunch is:

1] No lunch

2] Eat while standing up

3] 20 mins

4] 30 mins

j] I want my tablets to come in:

1] capsules when the prescription states tablets

2] the colour of my choice

3] The manufacturer of my choice

4] chocolate flavour

k] Patient satisfaction survey:

1] I am happy to fill it in

2] I will tick random boxes

3] Cant be bothered. The Pharmacy is crap. Would rather be in the pub

l] Patient returns:

1] I will return all unused medication

2] My next of kin will return all unused medication

m] Do you require a 24 hour Daily Mail article advice hotline?

1] Yes

2] No

Your list of pharmacies will be emailed to you.

Thanks for using!


2 thoughts on “

  1. I’ve been a pharmacist for several years and I am so confused about pharmacy, let alone patients!

    Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? Essential/advanced/enhanced? Services? Payment structures? PCTs? SHAs? PSNC? GPhC? RPSGB (I will always hate them!!!)? NHS? GP consortia?

    Sometimes the only thing that makes relaxes me is seeing some form of stability. Consistency of some kind. Something you can expect and doesn’t give you a shock each time you experience it. Instead you can warmly welcome it after having waited for it’s arrival.

    There’s precious few of those types of things in pharmacy these days. But luckily there are a few. Like slashes to funding. Like the way Pharmacy has become dog-eat-dog from ‘can’t see in the morning’ until ‘can’t see at night’. Like the corporate drive behind patient care which was once genuine and relaxed. Like the sly, backstabbing, undercutting nature of competing pharmacies which has become more and more rife by the day.

  2. I love this, i would like my medication to be dispensed in one min please, while jerry kyle is on and can i have the red coloured, strawberry flavoured capsules please as the white chalky tablet ones give me a rash. Thanks!

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