Monthly Archives: June 2012

Fifty Shades of Dispenser

Fifty Shades of Dispenser is a 2012 novel by British author Mr Dispenser. Set largely in the dispensary, it is the first instalment in a trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a pre-reg pharmacist, Anastacia Amitriptyline, and a Independent pharmacy owner Christian Dispenser. It is notable for its explicit calculation scenes featuring elements of theobroma calculations.
The second and third volumes are titled Fifty Shades of pink Simvastatin tablets for fussy patients and Fifty Shades Free of the PJ now I am no longer with the RPS respectively. Fifty Shades of Dispenser has sold around ten copies in Newcastle. Critical reception of the novel has been so so.

#FF: Pharmacy Bloggers

These tweeps haves a way with words. Please read their blogs and enjoy








@Redheaded Pharmacist


@Dispenser Diaries










The Rules of Pharmacy Club

1. You do not talk about patients outside the pharmacy.

2. You do NOT talk about patients outside the pharmacy, except on twitter.

3. If someone says ‘stop’ or the inspector visits, the pharmacy is over.

4. Only two guys maximum should work at any one pharmacy. Any more is unnatural.

5. Only deal with one patient at a time. Wait in line!

6. No white coats, no trainers.

7. Inappropriate conversations in the pharmacy will go on for as long as they have to.

8. If this is your first time at PHARMACY CLUB, you have to put the kettle on.

#FF: Perfect Pre-regs

The pre-reg exam is a week away. We all remember the stress and nerves before our exam. Please follow and wish these guys the very best of luck!

1 @zumbaz87
2 @ShamAsl87
3 @AliciaHenrietta
4 @Sameya_K
5 @07sat
6 @Becky_Ross_23
7 @Sairah_Banu
8 @aisha_adnan
9 @lauraberrycakes
10 @reenachum
11 @SanahSunshine
13 @gems_mc
14 @tanniewoo
15 @kevin_cbc
16 @Miss_DJ
17 @BottSlot
18 @SunitaPatel
19 @Khela619
20 @mraparmar

Strike It Lucky

I am not happy. Not happy at all. Five years ago, I agreed a deal with Mrs D. I will wash the dishes everyday until retirement and once I retire she will cook meals three times a day.

Now she has changed her mind and said that she will only cook two meals a day when I retire. How can she? I work hard. I do a valuable job. I have spoken to my advisors (mates in pub) and have decided to take domestic action. It is definitely not a strike.

Today, I will not wash any dishes for planned meals. I will if there are urgent stubborns stains but anything else will not be touched.

Of course, I will still be in the house. Refusing to enter my own house would be silly. I refute claims that even having two cooked meals a day is a good deal.

Oh! Just realised that there will be a big pile of dishes for me to wash tomorrow..

Gender Bender

The majority of the pharmacy support staff workforce is female. What if it were male….
    • Less conversation about nails and hair
    • More conversation about cars and football
    • Less talk about comparing breast size
    • More talk about comparing penis size
    • Less bitching
    • More direct insults
    • Less toilet breaks and sanitary bins
    • More longer toilet breaks and magazines to read in there
    • Less Hello/Take a Break in staff room
    • More Top Gear and Four Four Two
    • Less pathetic attempts at dieting
    • More ‘who can eat the most’ contests
    • Less crying at work
    • More physical fights
    • Taking forever to unscrew a lid off a bottle as no man would admit defeat and ask for help
    • Less cooing and brooding over babies
    • More cooing over sports cars
    • Would not need to call out handy men for repairs as men would do it themselves even if it would take them months to fix repairs
    • Less tea making
    • Increased methane gas in the dispensary
    • There would be no multitasking
    • Less frequent emptying of bins
  •           There would be a huge Man Flu OTC section


Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and at no point reflects the views of the author



#FF: Too School for Cool

The kids are the future. They will be in charge one day. These are my top 30 pharmacy students on twitter in no particular order.

1. @miss_njun

2. @Pharmasaurus_Rx

3. @Lil_rea_rea

4. @Maria89_2

5. @IciclePill

6. @Ronniepatel1988

7. @HazelRoseJ

8. @Sareenuh

9. @Hafsl

10. @Minnaeii

11. @JustHelenYeah

12. @KrishOza

13. @Nas_sidat

14. @Ambreen91

15. @Aysha1002

16. @Jainybums

17. @Amyotway

18. @Readiee

19. @Sheeeny_

20. @NafisaSaid

21. @Fiona_curley

22. @Joyfullina

23. @Aron2092

24. @EmmTurner

25. @Junel94 [still doing A Levels but wants to study pharmacy]

26. @Chachachandni

27. @Jonesy147

28. @nathalyBartsch

29. @nidatariq_

30. @emilypharmstud

The Book

I have a dream. It’s not quite as powerful as Mr King’s but it’s important to me. I want to write a book about life in pharmacy. There is too much doom and gloom surrounding pharmacy and I want it to make people laugh.

A similar book was published recently. I have not read it but I believe with the help of social media, we could create something special. I need your help.

I want people to send in anecdotes and jokes about pharmacy. I would love to hear from community pharmacists, pre-regs, technicians, dispensers and counter staff. Also hospital, primary care, prison, academics, pharmacy journalists, students, GPs and even GP receptionists. I will add in some of my blogs too. I have no idea how I will publish it but that will be part of the adventure.

You can reply to this blog, via email, or Twitter @mrdispenser

I look forward to hearing from you and will keep you updated!

Tell your friends too!

Just Say No

I really should learn to say no once in a while. It’s actually quicker and easier than a yes. I got asked to work on Saturday morning for four hours and said yes. I had not been to this pharmacy in a few years but remembered it to be a pleasant one.

I thought I knew how to get there so I did not use my Sat Nav. When it got to 8.55am and I was lost, I pulled over and turned on the Sat Nav. It was 7 minutes away. I arrived at 9.02am very embarrassed and apologised profusely.

I was greeted with scenes similar to this:


[Pictures by @impure3]


I sent a cheeky tweet detailing my findings before getting down to the task at hand. Twenty minutes later, the locum agency rang and said that there was a mix-up and that I had to go to another branch 20 miles away!

I looked at the baskets and weighed it up against the car journey and decided to move branches. I was told not to wait for my replacement. The lady from the locum agency told me that there was already someone at the next pharmacy waiting for me to get there so not to worry about getting there ASAP. So I stopped for a McDonalds breakfast! I jest!

The next pharmacy was 45 minutes away according to the Sat Nav. I started driving and decided to ring them to let them know how long it would take me. Whilst on the phone, I heard police sirens behind me rapidly approaching. Thankfully they had a more important matter to attend to and did not punish my stupidity.

The pharmacy was the scene of my ‘Locums deserve respect’ post Thankfully it was a lot nicer this time and less problematic. However, I wish I had said no and stayed in bed.