Dubstar: Not so manic now by Pharmakeus


http://pharmakeusuk.blogspot.co.uk/

Kettle’s whistling
My mind’s twisting
I was dispensing Mrs Jones her usual furosemide
When the door chime strangely rang

Before I’d been qualified for a while
I’d started to feel the tyranny of the dispensary
I’m on the register now
Now I counsel patients on using inhalers

Then I’m watching counter assistants sell mega-deals
And link sales to several dubious health pills
Then the area manager, 25,
Comes around to take away my pride

Kettle’s whistling
My mind’s twisting
I was dispensing Mrs Jones her usual furosemide
When the door chime strangely rang

You staggered sweating sulphurously to the door
Through the gaviscon adverts I could see you
Your intentions as a patient truly crush
Your obesity makes no intervention worth much
And so you’ve persuaded, claiming poverty
A private prescription from that ageing GP
And now you’re getting bendroflumethazide
For £5 less than I could charge Mr Hyde

The kettle’s whistling
My mind is twisting
I was dispensing Mrs Jones her usual furosemide
When the door chime strangely rang

I’m on the register now
I’m on the register now
I’m on the register now
I’m on the register now

Before I’d been qualified for a while
I’d started to feel the tyranny of the dispensary
I’m on the register now
Now I counsel patients on using inhalers

I’m wondering where pharmacokinetics comes in
Or western blot testing or pharmacognosy
Then a customer, 25,
Helps herself to a razor or five

I’m on the register now
I’m on the register now

 

To the tune of Not So manic now – dubstar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v22LsS8I8M8

 

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Dubstar: Not so manic now by Pharmakeus

  1. Interesting. Took a few minutes to realized that ‘on the register now’ meant you’ve got your license and not that you’re manning the cash register. A lowly task in the US. What’s the deal with the kettle whistling, though? Shops here (in US) are so busy, we’d never hear a tea kettle above the hubbub. And, I take it that “bendroflumethazide” is that new weight loss drug? Certainly pharmacists aren’t involved in western blot?

    As for p’cog? Twenty years ago we called it ‘weeds and seeds’ so what does the typical English pharmacy student learn in pharmacognosy?

  2. Oh dear, we really are two nations separated by our shared language aren’t we?

    Yes “on the register” is “on the register of pharmaceutical chemists”, i.e. able to be a pharmacist in the United Kingdom. We don’t just allow anyone with a pulse and a certificate from pharmacy school to practice our sacred craft you know.

    Perhaps you don’t have proper kettles in the world of 110W power? In the UK, they are an essential tool to the generation of work, in that they produce tea and thus enable a dispensary team to function.

    As for bendroflumethazide, well if you don’t know what thiazides are available and routinely used for hypertension in the UK, then there’s always wikipedia.

    Western blot is a form of chromatography, used in the purification and analysis of pharmaceuticals. Something that we’re trained on, but never use – as community pharmacists don’t need to use, as they’re busy using their advanced skills to promote patient care rather than manufacturing.

    Pharmacognosy was 20 credits at undergraduate level in my day. Essential to know where we’re coming from, and with herbal medicines maintaining a presence in UK healthcare, still relevant.

  3. Thanks for the reply, Mr. Dispenser. I hadn’t thought of the matter that way, but we certainly do have differences!

    Here in the US, the choice of beverage is coffee with the ubiquitous Mr. Coffee machine; a container for heating the fresh water poured into it that passes through ground coffee and a paper filter before dripping into a glass pot that sits on heating element. I have never been in a pharmacy where ‘a pot of tea is on’, and very rarely is there hot water for a tea bag from home. Most shops would never see the pace where one might even drink a hot beverage while it’s hot! So, please describe a proper kettle and where it would be whistling in a pharmacy. If it’s a whistler, perhaps it’s on a burner of some type, or might be an electric kettle with the element in its base. Where would there even be a burner for a kettle in a shop? Most of the shops I’ve been have a tiny sink, rarely paper towels, and a little ledge for glassware, and a spatula or two.

    As for bendroflumethiazide, the ‘thiazide’ at the end easily gives its type of drug away. There are two main diuretics in use on this side of the pond: furosemide–often referred to by its original brand name ‘Lasix’ and hydrochlorothiazide known as ‘HCTZ’ and the combination drug triamterene and HCTZ better known by its old proprietary names as ‘Dyazide’ or ‘Maxzide-25’.

    My pharmacognosy class was taught by a biologist from California’s almond industry who later became a pharmacist. We learned about all manner of herbals and their touted uses, and various types of chemicals such as alkaloids, tannins, and amines.

    We used the pharmacognostician, Varro Tyler’s Honest Herbal textbook. (Later, I was working at the hospital when and where he died, and was surprised to learn that he himself had a very wide variety of interests including as philatelist who specializing in the study of forged postage stamps). Since p’cog was a catch-all class of 3 hours plus lab, we also learned about chemical identification tests for cocaine, names of the street drugs, poppy fields and extraction of opium, strychnine poisoning and wolf bounties, schiff bases, mannich reactions, how to run an advertising campaign for a shop, compounding medicinal veterinary pharmaceuticals, the AIDS epidemic, mercury poisoning, and fish kills, lung and breast cancer awareness, and other public health issues, such as accuracy of self-testing kits. I took a botany class the next summer (not part of pharmacy school) to identify various plants and fungus discussed in p’cog. Since there’s no uniform way to measure the amount of active agent in a natural substance of a product labeled as a food, (except for vitamins), most herbals are sold in health food stores, and the homeopaths are considered ‘quacks’ by most medically trained individuals.

    Does British NF contain any herbals, and does any of the NHS cover payment to chiropractors and naturopaths?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s