Dubious Pharmacy Facts Part 1


 

1] @MrDispenser: Paracetamol is stronger than aspirin because it’s a higher strength

2] @MrDispenser: Calpol turns your wee into a pink suspension

3] @MrDispenser: All drugs cost 5p. The remaining £7.60 goes into the pharmacy cake fund

4] @MrDispenser: Boots also sell shoes

5] @ David_Loughlin: There’s no one else in the shop so you’re doing nothing else behind there

6] @MrDispenser: That medicine is not out of stock. It’s just on the top shelf and I’m too tired to stretch

7] @MrDispenser: Every consultation room has a Jacuzzi

8] @David_Loughlin: That brand doesn’t work as well as the expensive one

9] @MrDispenser: We only tell the receptionist that it’s urgent and we need to speak to the GP. We actually want to discuss Corrie

10] @MrDispenser: The only legal requirement on a CD script is a cool signature

11] @rmoomin1: The male member of staff is always the pharmacist

12] @louis_Purchase: You can really sell me that hydrocortisone cream to use on my face

13] @MrDispenser: If you do an MUR, the MUR queen puts 50p under your pillow

14] @MrDispenser: The three day co-codamol usage limit is just the best before date

15] @rmoomin1: Preparation H is totally licensed for wrinkles

16] @cathrynjbrown: and for after tattoos 🙂

17] @kevfrost: All pharmacies are required to have a mortar and pestle. The counter assistants use it to prepare lunch.

18] @M4lh1: Uncollected Fortisip and gluten free foods go towards xmas buffet

19] @MrDispenser: Pharmacists will sell Piriton for use in dogs

20] @MrDispenser: Pharmacists don’t need to know your full medication history. They are just being nosy

21] @Jonesy147: Methadone is just green calpol – it’s all about the placebo effect.

22] @Louis_Purchase: I take my medication differently to the prescribed instructions because the Doctor told me to

23] @cleverestcookie: Of course this medicine’s effective, it’s priced at £30

24] @The_Buffy_Bot: Oh the doctor prescribed it? It must be right then, pay no attention to me

‏25] @Jonesy147: The CD register only exists because pharmacists are so forgetful

26] @m4lh1: GP knows i take codeine & Nytol everyday, just sell it me

27] @cleverestcookie: Threw away your tramadol by mistake? Of course I can let you have 300. No charge either!

28] @MrDispenser: The addict really had 4 grandads that passed away

29] @The_Buffy_Bot: Yes you’re right; the branded version IS more effective

30] @MrDispenser: The PJ is interesting

31] @googlybear84: Having a Viagra stuck in your throat will actually give you a stiff neck for hours

32] @Jonesy147: “Homeopathy definitely works; I read it in the Daily Mail.”

33] @The_Buffy_Bot: Actually the CD register only exists because pharmacists can’t be trusted not to help themselves

34] @Fuzzdammit: The pharmacy down the road gave me amoxicillin without prescription

35] @m4lh1: Boyfriend: Girlfriends busy, I’ll just pick up Levonelle for her. She’s used it before, it’ll be fine.

36] @MrDispenser: Pharmacists don’t make fun of patients on twitter

37] @MrDispenser: You can submit tweets as CPD

38] @googlybear84: Shop staff know nothing about the products they sell, and only recommend the ones they’ve actually used personally

39] @rmoomin1: I take you more seriously when you name drop your second cousin twice removed who’s a nurse and knows best

40] @kevfrost: 5mL of amoxicillin, clarithromycin, ciprofloxacin, trimethoprim and metronidazole suspensions count for 5-a-day-fruits

41] @sam4715: We only offer a managed repeat scheme to make more money. We tick everything on the repeat without asking the patient

42] @danthedealer: Only the pharmacist is able to reorder your prescription over the telephone

43] @MrDispenser: GPhC will never follow you on twitter

44] @MrDispenser: The white repeat slip is a legal prescription

45] @hedferguson: Yes it will only take me 5 minutes to do your 20 item script but we’re busy playing monopoly out back…

46] @Cleverestcookie: All pharmacists chose pharmacy because they weren’t clever enough to do medicine

47] @MrDispenser: Pharmacists don’t need to eat lunch and this prevents them from needing a shit and keeps waiting times down

48] @Salsira: MURs take 5 minutes, doesn’t matter if you’re on 2 Meds or 10

49] @lauraberrycakes: Of course I can stand and chat about (insert non-relevant topic) when there is a queue of people waiting.

50] @googlybear84: “yes, I’m writing it down right now to order for you” whilst answering elusive Times crossword clue!

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