25 Alternative Pharmacy Oaths


Huddersfield University make their students pledge a pharmacy oath. Here are some alternative pharmacy oaths:



1] @mrdispenser: This pharmacy does not deal with terrorists or people who demand specific generic medicines.


2] @grahamjudas: Thou shalt stop saying ‘it does exactly what it says on the tin’ every time you see the Anoheal cream


3] @mrdispenser: Thou shalt not laugh at people who mispronounce drugs.


4] @andychristo: Thou shalt rejoice when the phrase ‘can you hurray it up, I’ve a taxi waiting’ is uttered


5] @mrdispenser: Thou shall not urinate in the lactulose.


6] @grahamjudas: Thou shalt not laugh at patients with weird names.


7] @mrdispenser: Thou shalt not say ‘google it’ when a patient asks a question.


8] @rikash_p: If you see a customer outside of work avoid eye contact and pretend you did not see them


9] @mrdispenser: Thou shalt not interrupt the counter assistant on a Monday morning when she regales her tales of the weekend.


10] @DonnaMcCormack1: Thou shalt not repeatedly put that patient who always complains’ script to the bottom of the pile.


11] @mrdispenser: Thou shalt not say “And you just killed someone” when a dispenser gives you 31 paracetamol instead of 32.


12] @DonnaMcCormack1: Thou shalt not kill & stuff a pharmacist and keep him in the dispensary to get ’round the responsible pharmacist rules


13] @mrdispenser: Thou shalt not make fun of the area manager because he used to work at KFC.


14] @andychristo: Thou shalt understand expensive brands are much superior to cheaper medicines


15] @mrdispenser: Thou shalt not reply no when someone rings up to ask if you are open.


16] @andychristo: Thou shalt not roll thine eyes when patients mention that they found it on the Internet.


17] @mrdispenser: Thou shalt not tweet about the people you meet or write a book about them.


18] @MikeHewitson1: Thou shalt not supply DIY products when a patient asks for Cuprinol. It would be a stain on the profession


19] @jasonpeett: We offer a free medication interaction advice service for all recent purchases made in Holland & Barrett.


20] @MikeHewitson1: Thou shalt not scream on a Saturday morning when the only item in a 200 line order that you need is missing


21] @rob_a_mitchell: When over hearing patients saying a product is cheaper at B@%#s thou shalt not scream “f@%k off to B@%#s then”


22] @MikeHewitson1: Thou shalt smile every time you hear the words ‘shipping order’, even though you are too young to remember what one is.


23] @rob_a_mitchell: Thou shalt not make up “manufacturing delays” because you forgot to order it.


24] @josh6H: Thou shalt not taste thy methadone.


25] @andychristo: Thou shalt not roll thine eyes at patients who complain they’re not overweight it’s just their metabolism.




3 thoughts on “25 Alternative Pharmacy Oaths

  1. Thou shall not hide in back of dispensary when Miss Hypochondria hoves into view for 20th time in the same week (usually with a copy of the Daily M**l)

  2. On the day when a dental appointment is scheduled promptly after work, thou shalt not mention the ‘Q’ word at the change of shift, thus jeopardizing any chance of peace and quiet as surely all Holy H*** break will break loose, if not for now, then it’ll show up first thing in the morning.

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