Monthly Archives: May 2013

Pharmacy Exams


Exams for pharmacy students are a time of great stress. However, for the exam invigilators, they are a time of great amusement.
In order to get through the long exam, invigilators take it in turns to stand next to the: 
1) Ugliest 
2) Best looking 
3) Most likely to fail
4) Most likely to be the first to get struck off
5) Most annoying 
6) Cleverest 
7) Most likely to cry
8) Students that look like lecturers 
9) Coolest 
10) Student that probably started revising last night
11) Most likely to start a Facebook campaign demanding the resit be easier
12) Most likely to appear on Jeremy Kyle
13) Most likely be the first to complain on Twitter later
14) Most likely to be a homeopath
15) Most likely to study medicine straight after
So be worried if an invigilator stands beside you!

What does 100 equal?

Dispensing is never simple!

Does 100 = 28 + 28 + 44
28 + 28 + 28 + 16 ?

Tracey G: Surely it’s whatever mood the dispenser is in?????

Rai S: Depends on receptacle size.

Iman Z: To me 100 equals to 100! Pile them up in a single box! Cost effective

Lorna B: 4×28! (Usually!) God love the Scottish Drug Tariff

Claire B: And the drug… diazepam? codeine?

Catherine H: Depends on which company you are working for!

Kelly T: 28+28+44! Pregnant box or not, shove them in there and save a box!

Emily H: Are the 44 all the same batch & expiry?

Darshana T: When it’s a horrible patient 3 x 28 and last box of 16 in singles 🙂

Amit P: Turn each blister strip of tablets to face each other, interlock them and you may be able to save on labels as well 2×50!

Motivational Pharmacy Quotes

This was a hashtag started by @pillmanuk

@PharmakeusEsq: Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer – by opening up a 100 hour pharmacy next door to them.

@GrahamJudas: The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, locum for a bit.

@GrahamJudas: Don’t be afraid to stand for what you believe in. Even if it means asking for something to be relabelled 3 times

@MrDispenser: When working in Bradford, do as the Bradfordians do and nip out for a curry on your lunch

‏@MrDispenser: Forget all the reasons it won’t work & believe the one reason that it will because the doctor has signed it so must be right

‏@PharmakeusEsq: Don’t sweat the small stuff – we’ve got some out of date Anhydrol Forte you can have?

@MrDispenser: When you say it’s hard, you actually mean you can’t find the calculator and work out 112-56 in your head

@pillmanuk: The will to win, desire to succeed, urge to reach your full potential. These are the keys that will get you 400 MURs.

@MrDispenser: Life is like a CD running balance. You need some negatives in order to appreciate the positives

@pgimmo: The only limit is your own imagination. That and the MUR cap

@MrDispenser: Rule #1 of life. Do what makes YOUR area manager happy

@MrDispenser: Just remember there is someone out there that is more than happy with doing less MURs than you

@pillmanuk: If you’re going through hell, you’re in pharmacy

@PharmakeusEsq: Success is the ability to go from one deprived run-down pharmacy to another with no loss of enthusiasm

@MrDispenser: I am thankful for all of those who said NO to me. It’s because of them I’m locuming 70 miles from where I live

@jasonpeett: When they say 100 hours they actually don’t mean Earth Hours. That would be silly………..

@MrDispenser: I don’t regret the things I’ve done, I regret the things I didn’t do when I was still signed in as the RP

@pillmanuk: If at first you don’t succeed bang in a 100 hour contract

@pillmanuk: Multuples rush in where independents fear to tread

@Cleverestcookie: If you’re not that good, don’t worry; you’re bound to be promoted up the company structure

@MrDispenser: Without hard work, nothing grows but shrinkage

@pillmanuk: A healthy patient is just a prescription opportunity seen through the wrong end of a telescope

@MrDispenser: Opportunity does not knock, it walks straight in with a 20 item script at 5.55pm

@MrDispenser: Expect problems and eat them for lunch during your 20 minute safety break

@MrDispenser: Even if you fall on your face, be sure to miss that lactulose that I just spilled

@PharmakeusEsq: Mistakes are stepping stones to learning and a criminal conviction

@MrDispenser: A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to amend the CD register

@pillmanuk: Stealing someone else’s staff frequently spares the embarrassment of training your own.

@PharmakeusEsq: Failure is the opportunity to begin again, as an area manager for a different multiple

@pillmanuk: An EPS nomination a day keeps the Doctor’s pharmacy at bay

@pillmanuk: The road to hell is paved with bad endorsements

@pillmanuk: An ACT a day will keep the MURs rolling

@PharmakeusEsq: Quitters never win and winners never quit, no matter how good your prize for best Smoking Cessation Service

@pillmanuk: You can’t measure methadone when you’re shaking with fear

Day Off part 2

It’s the weekend.

My day off.

I am in town.

Then I see her.

That patient.

You know the one.

The one that always comes in and asks questions when I am trying to eat my lunch.

She is 100 yards away.

Should I cross the street?

Slip into the lingerie shop to avoid her?

50 yards away.

No escape now.

I’ll just say a polite hello and say that I am late for a meeting.

25 yards.

I need to be assertive.

I will finally put into practice that course I went on.

10 yards.





Apprentice Pharmacy Cliches


The cliches used on the Apprentice can be used in the pharmacy:
“I give 110%” = I give 30 fluoxetine instead of the prescribed 28
“I have a proven track record in sales” =  I sell co-codamol to anybody
“I stepped up” = I used the kick stool
“I’m passionate” = I love pens
“There are no friends in business” = My staff members hate me
“It was your/her/his/responsibility” = Who forgot to order paracetamol?
“Why have you brought x back into the boardroom?” = Why are you doing an MUR on antibiotics for Mrs Smith?
“I’ve left (blank) behind to come here”= I used to be a manager at KFC, now I want to be an area manager for your multiple

Day Off

Wake up at 7am automatically and can’t get back to sleep

Make a cup of coffee at 9am and finish it at 11am

On the toilet when the delivery driver calls.

Ring company to ask driver to attempt redelivery

Driver comes again when I have nipped out to fish and chips shop

Driver shouts at me for not being in and says that I shouldn’t have lunch.

Neighbour calls round to borrow some paracetamol as she has run out.

Friend sends me a picture of his Haemorrhoids and wants me to recommend something. I recommend a new friend.

Dad rings me to ask about the latest Daily Mail Cancer scare story.

I ring the surgery and want a quick word with my GP but am told she is busy.

I want to do a crossword but can’t find a pen.

I get a phone call about PPIs. Decide to give the caller a lecture about how lansoprazole works.

Mum rings me on my landline to ask if I am home.

A rep knocks on the door and wants to talk to me about double glazing but I won’t let him in.

The kids won’t listen to me or do as they are told. They frequently answer back.

They make a cake for their grandparents but end up using salt instead of sugar. A serious baking error.

I have to apologise to my angry in-laws and make the kids write a letter of apology.

I always look forward to a day off from the pharmacy.