Day Off

Wake up at 7am automatically and can’t get back to sleep

Make a cup of coffee at 9am and finish it at 11am

On the toilet when the delivery driver calls.

Ring company to ask driver to attempt redelivery

Driver comes again when I have nipped out to fish and chips shop

Driver shouts at me for not being in and says that I shouldn’t have lunch.

Neighbour calls round to borrow some paracetamol as she has run out.

Friend sends me a picture of his Haemorrhoids and wants me to recommend something. I recommend a new friend.

Dad rings me to ask about the latest Daily Mail Cancer scare story.

I ring the surgery and want a quick word with my GP but am told she is busy.

I want to do a crossword but can’t find a pen.

I get a phone call about PPIs. Decide to give the caller a lecture about how lansoprazole works.

Mum rings me on my landline to ask if I am home.

A rep knocks on the door and wants to talk to me about double glazing but I won’t let him in.

The kids won’t listen to me or do as they are told. They frequently answer back.

They make a cake for their grandparents but end up using salt instead of sugar. A serious baking error.

I have to apologise to my angry in-laws and make the kids write a letter of apology.

I always look forward to a day off from the pharmacy.

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