Monthly Archives: December 2013

Pharmacy Night before Christmas

‘twas the night before Christmas, when all through the pharmacy.

Not a dispenser was stirring, not even Tracy.

The Activa stockings had been ordered with care,

in the hope that the driver soon would be there.

Mrs Jones had already rang 6 times to ask where her stocking was. Frank Dispenser and the rest of the pharmacy team were shattered. It was 5.45pm and it had only just quietened down. Frank hadn’t even had time for lunch. He was working his way through the celebrations tin that the area manager had left.

They had got lots of biscuits and chocolates from patients too. Some were not out of date which was a bonus. Mrs Smith had baked one of her special cakes for them. Frank had been initially dubious about selling citric acid to Mrs Smith. He had asked her what the w/w% of citric acid there would be in the final cake. Mrs Smith didn’t know but said that she would bring in some of the cake for Frank. He accepted as he was a reasonable man. Carol the dispenser was singing in the staffroom. She always sang at Christmas.

Mrs Smith and Mr Smith could not have been more different. Couples who order their repeat meds together, stay together longer. This didn’t apply to the Smiths. Mrs Smith used our repeat prescription order scheme. Mr Smith did not. It was then that he burst through the door. A feeling of dread came over Frank. Mr Smith was a large man in his seventies and always dressed in red for some reason. ‘Here is my list of medicines that I want’ he bellowed as he handed over his prescription.

Mr Smith was holding a sack. Susan the technician wondered if it contained biscuits for the pharmacy team. Susan was unfortunately mistaken. Mr Smith had been naughty, not nice.

‘I don’t want these tablets anymore’ he said.

Susan sighed. ‘As well as safely disposing of unwanted medicines, we also dispose of uneaten, in-date chocolates, cakes and biscuits, you know?’

Mr Smith looked confused.

 ‘We don’t have all your tablets’ said Frank.

 ‘Why the hell not?’ Mr Smith replied.

‘Well it is 5.45pm on Christmas eve’.

‘I’ll come back tomorrow then’ said Mr Smith.

‘You can come back but we are shut for the next two days’ Frank sarcastically replied. One day Frank would get a punch because of his sarcasm.

‘SHUT FOR TWO DAYS!!! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME BEFORE?’

‘We told you last year too….’ 

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28 fantastic made-up cures I promise wont change your life

Everyday I read about a magical cure on the internet that make amazing health claims. I wonder how easy it is to just make one up…

 

1] @The_Eye_Doctor: Putting milk in your eye will treat conjunctivitis

2] ‏@SparkleWildfire: Soothe away arthritis pains by washing your hair with all-natural, drug-free golden syrup

3] @KevPharmacist: Eat nothing but chocolate for five years and you’ll never be bothered by asthma again.

4] @SparkleWildfire: Rubbing your face against a TV screen whilst EastEnders is on cures back pain

5] @SiobhanAbrahams: Simple linctus helps a cough

‏6] @Alrob85: Keep a potato in your trousers to prevent type II diabetes

7] @ianthunderroad: Shoving raw mince up your arse cures Crohn’s

8] @ianthunderroad: Reading the Daily Mail, causes but also cures cancer

9] @SparkleWildfire: Copious amounts of cake cures guttate psoriasis

10] @Alrob85: Rubbing a sage leaf on your nose cures gonorrhoea

‏11] @ianthunderroad: Lactulose is a very effective cough remedy.

‏12] @MrDispenser: Using Just for Men hair dye cures heterosexuality

13]  @MagneticFlea: Women should not cook or clean during their period.

‏14] @Pharmusician: Jaffa cakes prevent migraine

‏15] @MrDispenser: Reading the BNF cures insomnia. Oh wait…

16] @SparkleWildfire: Leaving some flowers to rot in sunlight then diluting them with brandy cures mood disorders

‏17] @SparkleWildfire: Booping a cat’s nose three times with a haggis cures period pain.

‏18] @SparkleWildfire: Protect yourself from dangerous radiation (and pesky foreigners) by hiding under a copy of the Daily Mail at all times.

19] @lemonianta: Eating honey will stop hives

20] @SparkleWildfire: Eating Super Noodles everyday prevents Japanese Encephalitis.

‏21] @SiobhanAbrahams: Homeopathy cures all sorts of conditions

22] @MrDispenser: Staying monogamous prevents heartburn

‏23] @MrDispenser: Snorting Cottage cheese is good for thrush

24] @SparkleWildfire: Rubbing blue cheese into your elbow treats haemorrhoids

‏25] @MrDispenser: Burning your bra prevents sore nipples

26] @MrDispenser: Saying ‘Candyman’ in the mirror three times reduces wrinkles

‏27] @MrDispenser: Eating the left crocodile testicle cures sweat rash

‏28] @MrDispenser: Sucking a cucumber cures erectile dysfunction