Motivational Pharmacy Quotes

This was a hashtag started by @pillmanuk

@PharmakeusEsq: Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer – by opening up a 100 hour pharmacy next door to them.

@GrahamJudas: The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, locum for a bit.

@GrahamJudas: Don’t be afraid to stand for what you believe in. Even if it means asking for something to be relabelled 3 times

@MrDispenser: When working in Bradford, do as the Bradfordians do and nip out for a curry on your lunch

‏@MrDispenser: Forget all the reasons it won’t work & believe the one reason that it will because the doctor has signed it so must be right

‏@PharmakeusEsq: Don’t sweat the small stuff – we’ve got some out of date Anhydrol Forte you can have?
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@MrDispenser: When you say it’s hard, you actually mean you can’t find the calculator and work out 112-56 in your head
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@pillmanuk: The will to win, desire to succeed, urge to reach your full potential. These are the keys that will get you 400 MURs.

@MrDispenser: Life is like a CD running balance. You need some negatives in order to appreciate the positives

@pgimmo: The only limit is your own imagination. That and the MUR cap

@MrDispenser: Rule #1 of life. Do what makes YOUR area manager happy

@MrDispenser: Just remember there is someone out there that is more than happy with doing less MURs than you

@pillmanuk: If you’re going through hell, you’re in pharmacy

@PharmakeusEsq: Success is the ability to go from one deprived run-down pharmacy to another with no loss of enthusiasm

@MrDispenser: I am thankful for all of those who said NO to me. It’s because of them I’m locuming 70 miles from where I live

@jasonpeett: When they say 100 hours they actually don’t mean Earth Hours. That would be silly………..
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@MrDispenser: I don’t regret the things I’ve done, I regret the things I didn’t do when I was still signed in as the RP

@pillmanuk: If at first you don’t succeed bang in a 100 hour contract

@pillmanuk: Multuples rush in where independents fear to tread
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@Cleverestcookie: If you’re not that good, don’t worry; you’re bound to be promoted up the company structure
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@MrDispenser: Without hard work, nothing grows but shrinkage

@pillmanuk: A healthy patient is just a prescription opportunity seen through the wrong end of a telescope
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@MrDispenser: Opportunity does not knock, it walks straight in with a 20 item script at 5.55pm

@MrDispenser: Expect problems and eat them for lunch during your 20 minute safety break

@MrDispenser: Even if you fall on your face, be sure to miss that lactulose that I just spilled

@PharmakeusEsq: Mistakes are stepping stones to learning and a criminal conviction

@MrDispenser: A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to amend the CD register
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@pillmanuk: Stealing someone else’s staff frequently spares the embarrassment of training your own.

@PharmakeusEsq: Failure is the opportunity to begin again, as an area manager for a different multiple
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@pillmanuk: An EPS nomination a day keeps the Doctor’s pharmacy at bay

@pillmanuk: The road to hell is paved with bad endorsements
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@pillmanuk: An ACT a day will keep the MURs rolling
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@PharmakeusEsq: Quitters never win and winners never quit, no matter how good your prize for best Smoking Cessation Service

@pillmanuk: You can’t measure methadone when you’re shaking with fear

Day Off part 2

It’s the weekend.

My day off.

I am in town.

Then I see her.

That patient.

You know the one.

The one that always comes in and asks questions when I am trying to eat my lunch.

She is 100 yards away.

Should I cross the street?

Slip into the lingerie shop to avoid her?

50 yards away.

No escape now.

I’ll just say a polite hello and say that I am late for a meeting.

25 yards.

I need to be assertive.

I will finally put into practice that course I went on.

10 yards.

OMG.

SHE HAS HER HEAD DOWN.

SHE IS IGNORING ME.

THAT’S JUST RUDE..

Apprentice Pharmacy Cliches

 

 

The cliches used on the Apprentice can be used in the pharmacy:

 

 

“I give 110%” = I give 30 fluoxetine instead of the prescribed 28

 

“I have a proven track record in sales” =  I sell co-codamol to anybody

 

“I stepped up” = I used the kick stool

 

“I’m passionate” = I love pens

 

“There are no friends in business” = My staff members hate me

 

“It was your/her/his/responsibility” = Who forgot to order paracetamol?

 

“Why have you brought x back into the boardroom?” = Why are you doing an MUR on antibiotics for Mrs Smith?

 

“I’ve left (blank) behind to come here”= I used to be a manager at KFC, now I want to be an area manager for your multiple

 

 

 

Day Off

Wake up at 7am automatically and can’t get back to sleep

Make a cup of coffee at 9am and finish it at 11am

On the toilet when the delivery driver calls.

Ring company to ask driver to attempt redelivery

Driver comes again when I have nipped out to fish and chips shop

Driver shouts at me for not being in and says that I shouldn’t have lunch.

Neighbour calls round to borrow some paracetamol as she has run out.

Friend sends me a picture of his Haemorrhoids and wants me to recommend something. I recommend a new friend.

Dad rings me to ask about the latest Daily Mail Cancer scare story.

I ring the surgery and want a quick word with my GP but am told she is busy.

I want to do a crossword but can’t find a pen.

I get a phone call about PPIs. Decide to give the caller a lecture about how lansoprazole works.

Mum rings me on my landline to ask if I am home.

A rep knocks on the door and wants to talk to me about double glazing but I won’t let him in.

The kids won’t listen to me or do as they are told. They frequently answer back.

They make a cake for their grandparents but end up using salt instead of sugar. A serious baking error.

I have to apologise to my angry in-laws and make the kids write a letter of apology.

I always look forward to a day off from the pharmacy.

Pills, Thrills and Methadone Spills 2: The Sequel

It’s been over three months since my first book ‘Pills, Thrills and Methadone Spills’ came out on Kindle and paperback. I can’t believe the response that it got and am pleased to announce that I am writing a sequel to it.

It’s tentatively titled ‘Pills, Thrills and Methadone Spills 2: The Sequel. The latter part is subject to change. If you think of a catchy subtitle, then please do let me know. I am aiming for an October release.

So what can you expect from the sequel? More of the same! If you liked the first one, then you should like this one too. I did not put everything in to the first book. It’s again a collection of blogs and anecdotes about pharmacy. This book will still make use of tweets but also Facebook posts too.

5% of sales will again go to Pharmacist Support.

I would like anecdotes again from as many people as possible. Especially, students, hospital folk and international pharmacy personnel.

You can email me via mrdispenser@hotmail.co.uk

If you want to see a sample of the sequel, then please email me.

Thanks

Pharmacy Chat Up Lines

1] Mr Dispenser: Is it me or is there an interaction between us?

2] Martin M: Is that a Zoladex in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

3] @ZainyBebe: ‘lucky for you I’m ‘Thick n Easy”!!

4] Lisa J K: Apply me to your sensitive area.

5] Stephen S: Would you prefer something to suck on?

6] @bbbbarrel: I think I can stop my risedronate from now on because you have significantly increased my bone strength

7] Shikha R-T: Is your name flecainide? Cause u just made my heart skip a beat.

8] Martin P: Put your white coat on, you’ve pulled…

9] @ArvindSami91: You need to add me to methadone register, because I’m addicted to you

10] Mr Dispenser: I have sugar free methadone because I’m sweet enough

Pens for Pharmacy Charity

Dear Pharmacy colleague,

Now in existence for over 1/7 days, Pens for Pharmacy Charity continues to strive to expand its programs and offerings to the community. We hope that you will be able to take part in one or more of the many exciting events that we are offering this year and experience first hand the pride we take in supporting our cause.

It is our mission to ensure that every pharmacy has enough pens. We have had reports of some pharmacies sharing one pen. Clearly, this is unacceptable. In order to meet our mission and provide services in our community, we rely on the generosity of individuals and businesses for support. Without the assistance of community-minded individuals just like you, we wouldn’t be able to help those in our pharmacies each year.

We ask that you make a commitment to support our annual appeal by making a pen donation. This year our goal is 5 pens for each pharmacy, and we hope that you will be able to make a contribution. Your generosity will make a difference in our pharmacies by allowing us to continue in our work. If you give one pen to a pharmacy, then research shows that they will lose it within 20 minutes. If you give them 5 pens, then it will be 5 x longer before they lose it.

We have enclosed a donor envelope for your convenience. Remember that every pen makes a difference, regardless of colour, size or drug name. The look on the faces of the techs when you give them a pen is heart-warming.

Thank you in advance for your support!

Sincerely,

Mr Dispenser, CEO

I’ve come to collect my prescription

“I’ve come to collect my prescription”

“Ok…”

So it begins. The Mexican Stand-Off. I refuse to ask her what her name is and she refuses to tell me. The staring starts. Never breaking eye contact. Not once. Ok, maybe once when I respond to the ‘Who wants a cuppa?’ question.

I have all the time in the world. Actually, I don’t. But she doesn’t know that. She thinks she knows me. She thinks she’s the expert on me. She isn’t.

I know her name. Of course. I see her all the time. She knows that I know her name. But I shouldn’t have to ask her what her name is. If I do, she has won.

I can’t allow that to happen. I must make a stand for everyone who has ever worked in a pharmacy and been faced with the same situation. I must not surrender. Not now, not ever.

Susan the Tech: “For crying out loud Mr D. Must we go through this every time she comes in? Just give your mum her prescription and let’s get back to work, eh?”

Damn you Susan! I was sure I would win this time!

Outside the Pharmacy

I always panic when some people try and park outside the pharmacy as they only leave one inch between the car and us. What’s the strangest thing you have seen happen outside your pharmacy?

@brennanpharm: Elephant

@kim_whitehouse: A scene from a movie being filmed! It was called ‘Goal’

@eoin_martin: Patient turns up for daily prescription with an eagle on their arm…

@RPHTOTHESTARS: A couple, 70 year plus getting it on by the stores dumpster.

@Rose_Amos: A man walking by dressed as a hotdog.

@Doriannjb: I had a woman come in for self-tan, she realised she needed to shave her legs, she bought a razor, sat, and shaved her legs.

@i_Q_Balls: A brawl. Was pretty funny as they both ticked box C on the prescription.

@Gordon1000: A policeman chasing a suspect who escaped through a plate glass window from inside a shop on the other side of the road.

@__shell: Patient takes time to wait on his bag of meds and then walks across the road, takes out an inhaler and dumps rest in bin

Simon Butterworth: It’s a dead end. I reverse out but those that can’t attempt to turn. I think 22 point turn is the record.

@BigTechRx: For 5 years I’ve never been able to see outside. But inside, some gross woman was filing the crust off her feet while she waited.

Top Pharmacy Lies

@MrDispenser: I am not on any other medication

 

@EmilyJaneBond82: I ordered my prescription and was told it would be ready this morning.

 

@MrDispenser: My doctor knows about it

 

@pill_saurus: But I always had that brand.

 

@MrDispenser: I use my steroid inhaler daily.

 

@theancientartof: I’m a doctor in my own country and I definitely need some Cyclizine.

 

@MrDispenser: I’m on income support.

 

@Cleverestcookie: Yes, I always follow the pharmacist’s advice, even though they just count Smarties.

 

@Zahel: The wholesaler let us down.

 

@alkemist1912: I only take Nytol occasionally.

 

@__shell: There was only  14 temazepam but should have got 28

 

@Jonesy147: I only need that codeine linctus for my dry cough.

 

@Ambreen91: I know how to use my inhaler.

 

@PharmakeusPrime: Yes, the Feminax and the Regaine are both for me.